I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
