so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize