I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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