well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
