My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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