I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
