we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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