Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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