I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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