Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
high people should be assigned attendants
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
as a side note pls kill me
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