Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize