We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
