This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
