oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
