Small penises have feelings too.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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