You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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