she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize