I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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