Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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