Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
