apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
