"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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