I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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