OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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