Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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