i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
