i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
