I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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