I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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