So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have post one night stand depression
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