the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
