I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
