Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
