I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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