Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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