Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
