Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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