we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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