It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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