No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
