i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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