she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
