Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
