Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize