I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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