as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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