Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize