Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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