I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
