I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize