I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
