fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
