So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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