My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
