I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
