i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
