This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
