News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
