ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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