Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
